Time to grow up?

I'm a person who spends too much time alone. My wife told me yesterday that I need to get out more. I probably should, but I really don't have any desire to. All I really want to do is play music and skate. Is it time for me to "grow up?"

With music, it can be a personal and solo thing where you want to be alone with your thoughts and ideas. It's an indulgent thing to want to crank your amplifier to deafening levels. Moreover, as a guitarist, people are always asking you to "turn down." Little do they know that in order to truly appreciate tone, amps need to be on full blast and the parts need to cut through the mix. So while you often need an audience to make music work, the act of playing alone and "whittling away" is something I enjoy. But I can't say I prefer that.

With skateboarding, it's an independent thing by nature. You don't join a skateboard team, you do it alone. You hang out with "the homies" and try to get each other hyped up, but in the end you're really doing it alone. And that's fine. In fact, that's one of the big reasons I love skateboarding. I enjoy being able to get away from everything and lose myself in the act of skating. Whether it be bombing down hills or spending hours trying one specific trick, it's all good.

Both of my "things" aren't really social. Unless, maybe they are and the problem is me. It would be very likely that I'm the problem. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb here and attribute the problem to me. I'm the problem. My own insecurities and social awkwardness prohibit me from spending time in social settings. I am alone, always. Even in this crowded train with people talking all around me, I am alone. And it's all my fault.

It feels so liberating to accept responsibility for my awkward sadness.